dear self - it's okay not to be okay...

i know you’ve heard it before, but i’m telling you again and that’s because it’s important that you hear it again, but i also want to add one more thing…

it’s okay not to be okay… it’s just not okay to do nothing about it.

i need you to really hear that, i know that first part sounds cliche, and yes you have seen it scrawled across many forms of social media posts, but don’t let that take away from the meaning of the words. this is not saying that you should relish in negative feelings or thoughts, it's simply a reminder to cut yourself some slack. you’re so hard on yourself sometimes that i think you don’t give yourself enough credit for achieving the many little things that have led you to this point. this year has been an exceptionally trying one. yet every moment that you possibly could you got up, you showed up and you put 100% of yourself into everything you did.

so while everyone is looking back on the many things they have accomplished this year, i know you’re going to feel like you didn’t really achieve anything, just remember that each day you cross off the calendar is an achievement in itself. you made it here, you showed up to work when you could, you showed up for your family, you baked people a little a bit of happiness in food form, you helped others when you could and you learnt from some mistakes you made too. these are all things to celebrate no matter how small they seem.

so when you do have a moment, a day, a week or whatever it be where you don’t feel 100%… that’s okay, but just remember that while it’s okay not to be okay - it’s just not okay to do nothing about it. so what i need for you to do is something that doesn’t come naturally, and it’s not just you that struggles with it, trust me you’re not the only one. so after you admit that you’re not okay, i need you to do something about it. depending on what it is that has you in your feels will determine what you need to do about it. perhaps you should talk to someone, trust me you’re not bothering people by reaching out to them, at one point or another we all need someone to talk to. so whether it’s someone from within your support system, or a stranger with a listening ear - reach out. maybe it’s more than a casual chat you need, perhaps you need some professional advice, there’s no shame in that either, you would be the first to tell someone else to do it so don’t be afraid to take your own advice. maybe it’s action that you need to take, perhaps you need to set a new goal and work towards it or perhaps you need to take part in an activity that will help you empty your mind and find some clarity. whatever the action is take the first step towards doing it.

dear self - it’s okay not to be okay, it’s just not okay to do nothing about it.


- disclaimer -

while the purpose of writing this is to jot down my current thoughts in an effort to have a tangible reminder to myself. if you are feeling in any type of way that you yourself are needing a casual chat then please reach out, if it’s something a little more then - here are some resources that perhaps may help.

lifeline australia

call 13 11 14

text 0477 13 11 14

chat online @ lifeline.org.au

beyond blue

call 1300 22 4636

chat online @ beyondblue.org.au

for more support resources visit the australian government head to health page


we all go through our own challenges day to day and year to year, so please remember to be kind to yourself and others, we are never alone we truly are all in this together and you never know what battles or struggles people are facing.

if you use this print, i'd love to see how you style it/where you place as a daily reminder to self, share it with me using the hashtag #mrtimothyjames on social media.

if you could give your current self one piece of advice what would it be? need a chat? - drop me a line on my socials or via the contact page, i’m always here to listen

with love timothy xx

dear self - your happiness is before you not behind you

happy monday lovers
this month's #dearself post and the blog’s first guest post, comes to us from my darling friend and all around gorgeous human - Gemma Stanton of the blog namastegem.

look at you! you beautiful thing! all those nights up late, sobbing, listening to yet another taylor swift tune. but you know what, what about those times when the smile couldn't be wiped off your face? the times that you had that overly exuberant feeling to just say exactly how you feel to someone. to connect and bask in the beauty of the moment. you've had so many of those moments and you will, again and again and again. your happiness is before you, not behind you.

as long as you are given another day to wake up to, you have another chance to spin these beautiful, rare, unique and eccentric talents you have to use out in the world. you have roller coasters to ride, bridges to burn, cupcakes to ice, men to fall in love with, yourself to fall in love with, bacon, sugar, chocolate, love, the sparkly emojis, long hugs, swims in the ocean, songs to sing, people to meet for the very first time and so so many tears and smiles to be had.

your happiness is before you, not behind you, you wild, raw, real, unique, talented, brilliant, sacred, rebellious soul. in this life remember that no matter where you go, there you are. and so are the past moments, etched into your skin. the bag full of bones you've been blessed with. what a beautiful bag full of bones you are. go and shine on and on and on. bring happiness to those around you. give others the permission to shine in this world, through letting your light shine.

dear self - your happiness is before you, not behind you

and i'm so excited for you

ds your happiness is before you | mrtimothyjames | one
ds your happiness is before you | mrtimothyjames | two
ds your happiness is before you | mrtimothyjames | three
ds your happiness is before you | mrtimothyjames | four

photos by mrtimothyjames    |    words by gemma stanton

Want to share your own advice to yourself? just use the #dearself on social media and share it with others so that we can all build each other up.

If you have a suggestion for the next 'dear self' installment leave it in the comments below and you just may see it the series. 

much love xx